Glass Explodes!!!

Today at work I just did one of the coolest, yet most retarded, things I've ever done.

So, my boss wanted this 9ft by 3ft pane of glass moved from the upstairs kitchen in our building into our basement. My boss wanted it on top of this shelf that's about 8ft tall. Three of us to do the job. Cake.

One of the other guys and me decide to duo it down stairs. He brings over a small metal cart and figures that can support the middle. We pull it off and set it on the and push a couple feet. I've been told in the past that glass and stone tend to break if you carry them parallel to the ground. I veto that idea and told him to turn it sideways and we just straight up carry it down the flight of stairs to our basement. We get it downstairs trouble free and lean it up against the base of the shelves.

The third guy makes it down and we contemplate our next move. While the third guy and I are looking around for some shit to stand on, the second guy decides, fuck it lets man it up.

He grabs one end and I grab the other. We have a little trouble due to shit being in the way and poor planning on our part. The third guy jumps on the shelf to help us support the huge piece of glass. With this 9ft pane of glass above our heads, the fucker explodes.

Glass shards everywhere.

I started laughing and couldn't stop. It didn't help that when I looked over, one of the painters had seen the whole thing. He was shaking his head like Lee Travino on Happy Gilmore.

Luckily for us nobody got hurt. The other dudes had a couple small cuts and thats it.

Glass owns.

Some people are douches...

I'll start off by saying, I drank a shit ton of beer this past week and I'm very proud of that.

Saturday a buddy of mine decided to throw a kegger at our house. The fool ends up buying 3 kegs, two Busch Lights and one Coors. He expected to make his money back selling cups. After hearing that I knew hes never thrown a kegger before. You just get way to fucked up to sell cups later at night, plus people find ways to get cups for free.

I was so fucked up I don't really remember much but I do have a couple highlights that I do remember...

• My roomate decided to go shirtless. I fucking slapped his back at least 20 times. I guarentee he never does that shit again.
• Some fag kept playing my guitar. I should have head butted him.
• Some 30 year old bald guy showed up. He made some girl cry, I laughed.
• This chick that had a fucked up voice said something to me. I guess her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck at birth. I calmly said "What the fuck is wrong with your voice?". I've never seen so many people look at me like I killed someone. If it means anything I'd have boned her.
  
• Hearing some guy yell, "COPS!" then 20 people running in all directions, and not 10 seconds later a bicycle cop rides by. You had to be there so fuck you.
• Dropping my buddy doing a keg stand at 4am. Then he gets back up like nothing happened and does his stand. He gets down, pukes then yells for his beer. True champion.
• Waking up the next morning and going to take a shit. Realizing that the circular hair ring on my bathroom sink is where my beard trimmer use to be.
  

WHO THE FUCK STEALS A BEARD TRIMMER AT A KEGGER? Jesus. I bought the fucking thing for 15 bucks at Walmart and it was broken. I hope that fuck cuts his throat with it. I might be pissed except I was going to buy a new one anyways.

The only thing missing was me getting some poon. Oh well I still own.