Fuck Yeah It's Cold!

While I was sitting on my toliet taking my routine, night after drinking dump, I was thinking about shit that had happened the night before. Nothing to special, a couple of parties, a fight, Miller High Life, and some stupid bitch asking me for my coat. The last one actually got me thinking.

Now I've probably had that situation happen about a dozens times that I can remember. Not once have I actually caved in and given up my coat. The best part is, I know for a fact that I probably would have gotten laid a couple times had I not been such an asshole about it.

General Encounter:

Dern - Shoes, socks, jeans, pink thong (OK I lie, I don't wear underwear), 2 shirts, wool jacket and a Seahawk beanie. Fuck yeah Super Bowl bitches.

Retard Chick - Sandles, skirt, super small tight ass shirt, no underwear so she actually is freezing her vagina off, and best of all no fucking coat.

These usually start off with both of us standing outside in the freezing ass cold...

Dern, "Man, it's fucking cold tonight!"

Retard Chick, "Yup"

Now at this point she gives me that puppy eye'd look with the "Gimme your coat" overtone. I zip up my coat to try and knock that look off her face. Luckily for me it never works. After a couple minutes...

I know this part is coming but I can't help but laugh every fucking time.

Retard Chick, "Why don't you be a nice guy and let me wear your coat."

Dern, "HAHAHAHA! You've got to be kidding me, it's fucking cold out here!"

Two things happen if she hasn't left, A) I'm giving her a ride B) she's fucking stupid. If B is still around I try and finish her off as fast as possible before she annoys me anymore.

Dern, "Hey, touch my sleave real quick. You feel that? Thats fucking wool! This shit is warm!!!"

Then I laugh at her stupid ass even more. If you're not smart enough to bring a coat with you in this fucking weather then you deserve to freeze. I'm no fucking gentleman so find some other douche to steal a coat from.

I own.