Some people are douches...

I'll start off by saying, I drank a shit ton of beer this past week and I'm very proud of that.

Saturday a buddy of mine decided to throw a kegger at our house. The fool ends up buying 3 kegs, two Busch Lights and one Coors. He expected to make his money back selling cups. After hearing that I knew hes never thrown a kegger before. You just get way to fucked up to sell cups later at night, plus people find ways to get cups for free.

I was so fucked up I don't really remember much but I do have a couple highlights that I do remember...

• My roomate decided to go shirtless. I fucking slapped his back at least 20 times. I guarentee he never does that shit again.
• Some fag kept playing my guitar. I should have head butted him.
• Some 30 year old bald guy showed up. He made some girl cry, I laughed.
• This chick that had a fucked up voice said something to me. I guess her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck at birth. I calmly said "What the fuck is wrong with your voice?". I've never seen so many people look at me like I killed someone. If it means anything I'd have boned her.
  
• Hearing some guy yell, "COPS!" then 20 people running in all directions, and not 10 seconds later a bicycle cop rides by. You had to be there so fuck you.
• Dropping my buddy doing a keg stand at 4am. Then he gets back up like nothing happened and does his stand. He gets down, pukes then yells for his beer. True champion.
• Waking up the next morning and going to take a shit. Realizing that the circular hair ring on my bathroom sink is where my beard trimmer use to be.
  

WHO THE FUCK STEALS A BEARD TRIMMER AT A KEGGER? Jesus. I bought the fucking thing for 15 bucks at Walmart and it was broken. I hope that fuck cuts his throat with it. I might be pissed except I was going to buy a new one anyways.

The only thing missing was me getting some poon. Oh well I still own.