Slump Busted!!!

And some things that should not have been forgotten, were lost. History became legend, legend became myth, and over two and a half thousand years my slump passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, I broke one slump and began another...

That's right fuckers, I finally broke my historic slump a month or so ago. I passed through all the major phases of a slump, anger, depression, fuck anything that moves, and finally, giving up. These type of slumps only happen because of supreme bad luck and/or the fact that God hates you. Luckily, both these were present in this situation.

Well, the weekend I decide to head back home after finals just happen to be horse race weekend in my hometown. This involves gambling and drinking until you die, I love both.

I ended up getting so drunk that most of the night is a blur. There were two hoss things that ended up happening me. One was Arrogant Bastard on tap, and the other was actually getting asked for something. This chick I had known for awhile walks up to me and asks what I'm doing for the night. I say, "Nothing". She goes, "Lets have sex."

Now, I'm sitting on a bar stool fucking amazed. I've never had something like that happen. The only thing that I blurt out was, "Ok". Like true Dern fashion I ended up ignoring her for the rest of the night because I knew I was going to get some poon.

Anyways, we get back to my buddies house. This guy ends up having a huge camper trailer that he lets this chick and I stay in. We get in there and a couple minutes later I hear a knock. I open the door and my buddy walks in. He starts showing me all these crazy ass buttons and shit while slipping me a condom. After he shows me everything he leaves, as he's stepping through the door I can hear his wife yell, "Don't you stain my fucking sheets!!!”

I end up giving her my famous Dernsaw Jackhammer. Ok, I lie; it was more like me trying to sew with my cock. Fuck you.

After we are done I roll off her and she starts to move her hand to my chest. I can tell she is looking for chest hair to play with but because I am a hairless fuck she gets bored and moves south. Sure enough, she gets her hand to my balls and passes out.

So, here I am trying to sleep with some chick with her hand on my balls. I don't know, but for some reason I felt uncomfortable and couldn't sleep. Who would have fucking guessed? I eventually pass out...

Camper trailers own.