The Best Friday EVER!

You ever get one of those weekend days when nothing is fucking going on? Well this happened to me a couple of weekends ago. There was absolutely nothing going on. I really had only two choices for the night, go to the bar by myself or go to sleep. I took the third choice...I got drunk at home by myself, like a true alcoholic.

I didn't even need to leave my house. I think we had about 10 or so random beers in our fridge: Kokanee, Keystone Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Coors Light and some Scotch. Now, taking shots of scotch has got to be the sickest fucking thing ever.

So, I get really fucked up by myself and decided I'd pass out watching a DVD. I dig through my big case of burned DVD's and come across a movie I hadn't seen in forever.

I end up watching Walt Disney's Aladdin by myself, drunk, on a fucking Friday night. The best part is I actually watched the whole movie and couldn't get a song out of my head at work the next day...

Prince Ali Ababwa owns.

Vintage Dern!

It's another Saturday and I end up getting invited over to a friend of mines house warming party. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and decided to move back to Moscow. I really have no fucking clue why somebody would move back here, this place blows.

I start off the night drinking Coors Original, yeah that's right, the original piss in a bottle. I get a little buzzed and we head over to this chick's house. It ends up being a somewhat small party with a few people I recognize.

I eventually run out of beer and start stealing the beer out of the fridge. Luckily for me it's full of Keystone. I drink enough of their beer that I end up running around my house later in my underwear.

Well, like all good stories the ending is the best. I'm chilling in the kitchen with a bunch of people and a friend of mines girlfriend ends up taking a group picture of everybody in the kitchen. Afterwards she starts checking out all the pictures on the camera. She stops at the group picture and with me looking over her shoulder I say, "Man, you look fucking fat in that picture!"

Now she looks at me like I just shot her in the gut. I'm thinking, what the fuck if the bitch can't take a joke, fuck her. That's when I look over at her boyfriend, my buddy, and he's shaking his head. The motherfucker is mouthing...bulimic.

I almost spit my fucking beer out. I guess she had recently recovered from it. You'd think I'd get my ass beat for saying shit like this.

Guess I just fucking own.