I've Had a Vision!

This lovely evening begins on Mardi Gras Saturday here in Moscow. It's a fun filled night full of beads, sagging tities and lots of alcohol. Since this night only happens once a year I decided I'd celebrate Dernsaw style. The first thing I did was take a huge fucking pull off of a seven dollar fifth of whiskey. Nothing like the sweet taste of cheap whiskey to get you pumped.

After that I headed to the bars with my roommate and a few of his friends. I ended up having a large amount of beer and shots. As the night progressed I eventually lost everybody I had came with or met at the bars. So, I decided to go get a pita. I get a pita, destroy my face, and stumble home.

Now, I was drunk enough that I lost track of how long it took before my roommate made it home. He ended up bringing a few people back with him and I somehow found out that the two chicks were from the Walla Walla area. Now for some reason I can't go a full night of drinking without pissing some chick off. I don’t remember what I said exactly but she wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Seriously, no wonder I was talking shit, the bitch deserved it.

Well, the next day my roommate’s girl friend knocks on my bedroom door. She asks me if I had seen anything the night before because the bug deflector on her hood was destroyed. The moment she says bug deflector I have a vision...

Dern is stumbling towards a trunk, punches a bug deflector, and then watches it explode.

At this point I'm fucking speechless. I was so surprised by what I remembered that I couldn't even think up a quick lie. I think I mumbled something about a friend’s car getting fucked up in our driveway. Oh well, nobody likes that bitch anyways.

Destroying stuff owns.